Kwang+Ming

After reading my past essays, I have decided to work on the following two areas: 1) Clear argumentation (setting out premises and conclusions in a logical flow) 2) Crafting thesis statements and topic sentences
 * Lesson 1: Self Diagnosis

[] ** I found this website on a google search for 'Argumentation Skills'. This site gives a very comprehensive overview of the structure of an argumentative essay. It also emphasizes on paragraph and point organization, in other words, logical flow of points. They also introduce essay writing strategies for different essays such as body block patterns or point-by-point patterns. From this I am also able to learn to tackle my argument in steps as the site introduces techniques and steps to tackle such an essay.

[|http://www.indiana.edu/~wts/pamphlets/paragraphs.shtml] [] I have decided to base my learning on these two websites after searching for thesis statements and topic sentences. The first site tells me alot about paragraphing, and methods to starting a paragraph. It goes on to explain how a paragraph should be organized and I guess that is exactly what I lack in essays I've written throughout the first semester. The second link is a website that explains what thesis statements are and introduces methods to write a thesis.

a. Planning I intend to write a comprehensive paragraph regarding the topic, which is: GM (Genetically Modified) foods - boon or bane? I will be using a point-by-point argument method to address the topic. In the paragraph, I would start off with a concise topic sentence to capture the reader's attention. Then i'd go on to organize my points to put forth my argument that GM foods are unneccessary and do affect the environment and its ecosystems. This paragraph would not cover the counter argument that GM foods are good. Having this stance, I'd have to first look out for solid evidence to show that GM foods are detrimental to environment. Next, I'll also have to find out why some people think GM foods are beneficial. In this way, I'd be able to argue my stance more efficiently by rebutting the opposing POV's reasons.
 * Lesson 2: Applying the skills

b. Research Advantages of GM foods ** > //Food and crops such as corn// //have been genetically modified to increase their resistance to pests, resistance to the cold. Some of them are also modified to be drought resistant or even produce vaccines and results that the producers want. As a result, humans get a sufficient yield of fresh crops on a regular basis.//
 * Increased resistance and better yields

Disadvantages of GM foods > //Many other animals and plants are ruined as soon as a crop is genetically modified. For instance, a batch of corn was genetically modified to become resistant to the corn borer pest. Bt corn is considered harmful to the monarch butterly. However, in the natural ecosystem, the larvae of the monarch butterfly feeds on corn to grow. This may therefore affect the ecosystem as a whole. > > A couple of accidents have also occurred regarding GM plants: Soybeans were also modified to produce a pig vaccine. However some stray seeds were left out, leading to their germination amongst other soybeans. As it could heavily affect the ecosystem, or poison other insects or even humans feeding on it, the whole batch of soybeans had to be destroyed as a precautionary measure.//
 * Negative environmental effects

Resources: [] []

c. Actual paragraph Many may argue that GM food provides us with crops of increased resistance, and sometimes even better yields; however they have been unable see the massive negative environmental repercussions as a result of human's actions to modify food and crops. Supporters and consumers of GM foods often argue that genetically modified crops such as corn have helped to make them more pest resistant or cold resistant. However, GM foods affect the natural ecosystem. Let us take the example of the monarch butterfly. Its larvae feeds on corn to grow into butterflies; with the introduction of pest-resistant corns, these larvae may be poisoned. Soybeans were also modified to produce a pig vaccine. However some stray seeds were left out and this led to their germination amongst other soybeans not genetically modified. The genetically modified soybeans were not meant for human consumption, compared to the normal soybeans. If cross-pollination occurred in the future, a new unknown species of soybeans would emerge, leading to a massive change in the global ecosystem. As such, the whole batch of soybeans had to be destroyed as a precautionary measure. As seen from the abovementioned examples, it is evident that GM foods indeed result in many negative environmental effects. The argument that GM foods give us better yields is invalid as it may disrupt the balance of the natural ecosystem, and hence GM foods are bane, rather than boon.


 * Lesson 3: Peer Review**

//Hi Kwang Ming, Kenji here. I feel that on the overall the paragraph is rather well-crafted, following topic sentence, evidence then elaboration. However, one thing is that I somehow do not find your topic sentence very memorable. Perhaps you can try to include a bit more flowery language to make it able to capture the reader's attention more? Because I feel that the destruction of the natural ecosystem is meant to be an extremely strong point. Yep, that's all.//